I recently rearranged my furniture, as I often do when I feel certain shifts and the energy needs to reflect the upgrades. This most recent act of 'feng shui'ing' or better stated, 'going with the flow' and clearing, revealed a small file cabinet that I've avoided going through.
When I moved back in May 2017, it seemed easier to just place some pretty material over the black piece and use it as a corner table - since I thought it only contained old paperwork and other items I needed to purge during a future rainy or snowy day. Well, yesterday was neither...
I felt a strong urge to get to it and I listened.
My blog would have to wait. YouTube would have to wait. Netflix would have to wait. I began going through the files one by one and was surprised that it wasn't that long ago, I had indeed purged the paperwork and what remained was not as old or as cluttered as I thought.
Obviously, it didn't take nearly as long as I expected and so, I decided to clean out the two top drawers as well. I found an old hand-held tape recorder and about a half dozen micro cassette tapes. Immediately, I tried to play them and with only two new double A batteries and a few bangs of my hand, it worked!
Divine Timing is Always on Time!
Much to my delight, I was listening to my younger, 22, 23 and 24 year old self - over those 6 cassettes. I also noticed as the listener and the observer, my current operating system was coming from the roots of my 5D system.
There was absolutely no self-judgments - only reflections, love and gratitude for all the experiences, especially ones with struggles and pain. Particularly, the deep-rooted pain of not belonging here that I could feel to my core back then. An attempt to take my own life resulted from the complete and utter isolation I felt of being so misunderstood, from which I now understand, many can relate.
Although I remembered exactly how emotionally painful life can be - triggered by my own words - last night I only felt a deep love and appreciation for myself and my chosen path.
It has all served me well and my perspective was refreshed with waves of joy and gratitude. I suppose One could say the emotional pain has finally been healed.
My first husband and I purchased that hand-held recorder when I finally got diagnosed with third-stage Lymes disease. I was getting instructions from a nurse about self-administering the IV medications I would be taking for some months, and my husband wanted to make sure to get it recorded.
I could hear how young I sounded, I remembered how scared I was. I also remembered how horrible I felt battling these physical symptoms with no diagnoses for several years with barely any support from the medical community, until I got diagnosed.
Lymes disease just started hitting mainstream in the early nineties and I apparently, had one of the more chronic and long-term cases since it went so long without being diagnosed. Maybe I'll share the details of that entire experience another time, if it will help anyone. Otherwise, its good to just shed and transform that entire experience.
On these cassette tapes, I also listened to myself going through my first divorce and the beginning stages of self empowerment. I had a therapist named Kate F. who helped me so much. She helped me learn self respect and set healthy boundaries. She taught me it was ok to say 'no' to other people. That was a very big lesson for me while going through a messy divorce with children.
Out of My Own Lips
It is no surprise that Divine timing is always on time... and I'm finding joy in being pleasantly surprised when I see it unfolding in very special ways, such as these tapes.
I heard myself talking to this little recorder, as if I was speaking to a future self I did not yet know. I was saying things that I needed to do, or work on, or do more of... as if I was checking in with myself - even though I did not know this is what I was doing or that one day I would listen to myself with such joy and happiness for all that has come to pass.
I was saying that I needed to stop caring so much about what other people think about me.
I heard myself saying that I was proud of myself when I set a boundary and didn't bend. I was enjoying the process of blooming after I realized I was indeed, much stronger than I had been told, by forces of people that (no longer) could control me.
I was allowing myself the gift of self-respect and the birth of my own self-empowerment.
That was 24 years ago when I was 24 years old. How is that for Divine Timing?
24 years ago, I started a journey to conscious self respect and self empowerment. I didn't always get it right and often had to repeat lessons until they were learned. However, I am so thankful for the experiences.
How else could I ever teach empowerment until I had truly learned it for myself? It has taken me 24 years to mature in that empowerment after 24 years of listening to a broken record inside my head while struggling to following my heart through all the conditioning and expected rules of social norms imposed on most people.
I still chose them. I believe I chose them in order to break free from them.
Balancing karma and balancing yourself is a journey, as is healing ancestral karma. If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say? Do you keep journals? Did you record yourself? What if you could go forward to speak to your future self? Would you want to tell them anything? Maybe write yourself a letter, seal it and tuck it away.
If someone had told me when I was 24 that I could and would be speaking to my 48 year old self when I made those recordings, I would not have believed them. However, this is exactly what happened last night and it wasn't any kind of supernatural event.
It was from a micro cassette recorder long since forgotten. I heard my 24 year old self speak to me on a multitude of levels and our heart was at the center of it all. How beautiful is that?
Last night, my younger self spoke very clearly to me! She told me she was ready for the journey. She may not have known what was ahead but she was willing to get back up, dust herself off and keep going. She had courage even through her fear of the unknown, and she was willing to keep following her heart - as she so often did for her first 24 years.
I could not have felt more love for her, as I did last night. The circle of life felt complete, at least with these particular experiences.
It was like closing a book, not just turning to a new chapter.
The Ascension is amazing when you allow the nuances to delight you and bring joy.
Find joy in the smallest encounters and you will find yourself laughing out loud with happiness and truly feeling a sense of readiness for whatever comes next. You are ready. Stay open to the messages all around you and follow the flow.One step at a time.
Life is indeed good!
Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my joy with you. Be well everyone! Love and Light Always, Lynda